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Textbook Depression

by Miserable Kids Club

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1.
Walking down Queens Near Moore-Oxley bypass it seems Like a whole different town The place is still the same, but the colours are drained Coffee on Wednesdays, skipping assembly Late starts on Fridays, we'll meet at the mall Bus rides with best friends. walking everywhere Innocent routines I will never use again
2.
3.
lemonfish 01:03
You showed me the cross on your chest, the x marked on your skin. Cut above your heart where no pain should have been. I hugged you, I held you People start to stare, but I don't care I don't care Out but the movies, sitting on the grass. It was somebodies birthday, our friends in the arcade. You know you messed up, he came along and helped break your heart.
4.
It's a dreary Tuesday afternoon and things are running slow This place gives me some sort of peace so I feel less useless A drive to clear my head, folding boxes to gather my thoughts I hate my life I hate my life I hate my life I'd use a sample but it's probably copyright Oh fuck it This isn't only a job, it's a time for me to eat
5.
What have I been doing with my life? Living anywhere but the present, that's what I've been doing with my life Everything's moving along and I'm just drifting by until I feel that way again I'm only living in the present by reminiscing on the past
6.
smother 02:00
Another year, another phone down the drain I keep on making the same mistakes I hope I'm not a mistake you learned from Took me too long but I was pushing you away Never thought I would see the day where we were strangers again I read a piece of poetry and it fits with you so well I get shivers down my spine and pins and needles in my arms How come when I don't try at all, others start to fall But when I give my all... My hand on your thigh, I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable Until we were strangers it didn't occur how well passed that potential we came I clung to you and the warmth you gave but that just made the heat fade away With the embers rapidly turning to charcoal, frantically grasping at straws to keep our friendship whole... to no avail You were my rock but even rocks can turn to dust
7.
The cuts on your wrists Blood drips from the slits Ulna to elbow Too far in your head to admit That you needed help But i was too scared to give it I ran for a week and quietly ignored you Worried more than ever But afraid of destruction Not to each other but to yourself All the thoughts in your head That make you want to die But you're not scared of dying You are afraid of being alive When you showed me your arms I want to hold you in mine Protect you from yourself Tell you everything's fine You'll be okay, it's just all in your head I'll try keep you safe, i don't want you dead But it's hard when you think you're disgusting But please know that you never disgust me You hate yourself more than anyone could And I had feelings more than i should All the thoughts in your head That make you want to die But you're not scared of dying You are afraid of being alive
8.
untitled ii 02:27
Did we ever picture it like this? You so put together and me just a mess All those years ago lying on the silver seats Now we're lying in your house wondering what to eat Three years ago you would have never though You would try to end your life and I would try to end mind Even though now I have a good paying job I miss the sunshine on my face when we were in between class Planning out our lives and all the things to do Barely 18 years old and not a fucking clue How we'll support ourselves, we just want out of the house Common conversation, friends kicked out of the house But we're the kings of suburbia, I feel safe in the streets I wander now in loss and defeat Is this just me or everyone else? Scrawling over pages to feel what I once felt But I know we're never gonna feel that way again I will never feel that way again
9.
Recovering alcoholic, age 22 Sat next to me while I was waiting for you Said his name was Michael, he needed to know the time 2:37 sitting on a park bench in the sunshine He asked if I had a girlfriend Told him I was meeting you Not as my girlfriend but wishing it was true There was a night where that was real Do you remember how I made you feel? Arms wrapped and walking slow 2am at the park, we had no where to go I still have the burns on both my hands you gave me on the bench. Smiling etched on my skin, I will never forget

credits

released December 29, 2017

an album of looking back
thank you for listening

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Miserable Kids Club Melbourne, Australia

Cosy lofi music

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