1. |
the last day of autumn
02:09
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faded colour spectrum
and the sky is painted blue
and all i want to do is lay next to you
the browning of the leaves
warm sunshine and cool breeze
the open road stretches straight to you
cars begin to slow
the traffic starts to grow
but i am comfortable and i am calm
there is no panic in my chest
you give my heart a place to rest
the clouds inside my head begin to clear
i am starting to realise that i am not my habits
i am not the bad that i once thought i was
i am not scared like i used to be
no longer an urge to always leave
because now i am more comfortable than i once was
where i used to never see a familiar face
yours i can always spot in a crowded place
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2. |
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the stressors, the weight
pounding in my head, sinking in my chest
swelling and swarming with uncomfortable feeling
no single demeanour but i know it's not inviting
calming the nervousness with caffeine that only fuels the
irritability is funny because i need that withdrawal to breath
the middle of winter shouldn't be 25 degrees
so i can only hope for a rainy summer to be
blessed with a cool breeze
sun bright, shining white light
overwhelming me with nostalgia
patterns from 2014 viewing memories on an
old screen and reflecting on thoughts in a time
that could have changed who I've been
but now i'm me and looking back on
everything surely isn't healthy
because if i keep playing over things in my
brain i'll be stuck forever in a loop of pain
and every one will move forward and grow
while i'm left to wither in only what i know
possibly i have set standards too high for myself
and the guilt slowly consumes me due
to the hand that i've dealt
i need to let go and realise there's no time
limit or goal
the pressure is made up and enforced on
my own
i am allowed to do the things i want at my
own pace
forget all those around me, this is a one
person race
cut away and throw out the negatives
around me and begin to shape a positive
and nurturing environment
this life is mine and mine only, i own it
so i'll take all the time in this vessel and
love it
or learn to...
because if i can not control the thoughts
in my head, i will never move on from this
existential dread
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3. |
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this is the kind of tired that sleep can't fix
dark circles around my eyes from the ten
hour shifts
emotionally drained, floating with a pounding
headache
i rarely get them but it's been on my mind all day
not sure how much longer i can do this
drifting like a ghost and feeling so lifeless
rely on on the black outs in my sleep to get me
past this
suffering in limbo instead of solving my problems
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4. |
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i always hear songs about being victim
but i'm not a victim anymore
i'm trying to find answers in things
that raise no questions
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Miserable Kids Club recommends:
Earth Is a Prison
by The White Mare
nihilistic and abrasive death industrial noise
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For My Love
by Kesang Marstrand
featured on Bandcamp Radio Jan 5, 2016
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Introspective, homespun folk tunes from John Donne that feel informed by the sugary bleakness of '80s and '90s indie pop.
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Seawheel
by David Lonton-Baxter
”Seawheel Acoustic” delivers captivating melodies and heartfelt lyrics in songs that are equal parts soothing and enchanting.
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Once Upon A Time In Montréal
by Murray A. Lightburn
The folk artist explores grief through these smooth and soulful tracks.
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